It’s that time of year when the air turns crisp, sweaters come out, and we dream of pumpkin patches and cinnamon treats. But what happens when fall, as you know it, doesn’t exist where you live? I found out the hard way in Turkiye, where I searched in vain for the warm, comforting markers of autumn and came up empty-handed.
Like many, this is my absolute favorite time of year and I set out the fall candles as soon as the temperature shows the slightest drop. Spooky season brings cozy nights and is the perfect vibe to knit up a new sweater or bake some of my favorite fall treats. Most of my hobbies, I think, align with fall and are best paired with warm socks and a hot drink.
For most of my life, I figured that everywhere in the world had the same “fall culture” and I had never even thought to question it. As it turns out, fall only exists In the west. It's just not really a thing elsewhere. (Not even in Australia…). It wasn’t until my first fall in Turkiye when I failed to find a simple fall candle that I learned the truth. I searched in every store, went to malls, and even went to European stores like Ikea.
Would you believe it if I told you that Ikea stores in Turkiye do not sell a single fall decoration? I am not exaggerating when I say that I couldn’t even find an orange-colored dish cloth - let alone anything with a pumpkin on it. The shock. The horror. It was a cold-hearted blow to the stomach. It felt like all of the warmth was sucked out of the cool air and there was nothing left but half-dead trees and bone-chilling cold. At first, I was in disbelief and thought that maybe I went shopping too early.
Well, the leaves withered away and not a shrivel of my beloved autumn-ness showed itself. There were no special drinks, no holiday shopping, no colorful signs, no special treats, nothing. Only rain and dead trees. Of course, the holiday season of the US doesn’t exist in Turkiye, but I could have never imagined the lack of fall culture.
The concept of decorating for fall and doing fall activities is so foreign in fact that my husband couldn’t understand what the big deal was. I tried to explain the scents and the smells and the feeling, but nothing landed. It wasn’t until I found my first scented candle and brought it home that my husband started to get it. (Believe it or not, scented candles are not really a thing in Turkiye and the most you can usually find are the tea light ones.)
I remember his first reaction to smelling the candle. He was so impressed and said “Wow. It’s very good. We buy one for my mom and teach her.” Interestingly, I felt like I had to teach him what ambience was. I searched Youtube for one of those fall backdrop videos with cozy music, lit our new candle, made a couch bed, and dressed him up in cozy socks. To this day, he’s a big fan and I even catch him lighting the candles himself to create a nice atmosphere. He finally gets why coziness is a nice thing.
The biggest gut punch, however, is when I explain this fall concept to people around me. Their reaction is usually something along the lines of, “No need. Just spending money.” Soul crushing.
This way of thinking is not unique to Turkiye and I later learned that Asian countries are unfamiliar with the concept as well. As an online English teacher, I have spent a lot of time in conversation with many students from different Asian countries and I now spend each Autumn season teaching my students about fall culture in the States. For me, speaking about Autumn brings it to life and makes it feel more present. For my students, it gives them a chance to practice talking about their culture as well as learning about American culture.
Similarly though, many of my students’ first responses are about the cost. In American culture, we believe that money spent on things we enjoy is money well spent. In Turkiye, money should only be spent on practical, efficient things that can be used. Appearance doesn’t seem to matter either and the main focus lies on the item’s practicality. I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that people here don’t have money to spend on things that don’t serve a “real” purpose.
I truly miss fall in the States and I cannot wait until I get to show my husband the scale of it. I’m so excited to take him to his first pumpkin patch, his first bonfire, show him the fall/Halloween decor, introduce him to all of the smells, and take him to the grocery store to pick out some interesting treats. After living in and learning about his culture for four years, I’m very eager to show him where I come from and the holiday season I grew up with. The most surprising thing to him will, I think, be the amount of effort people put into decorating their homes and lawns. The life-size skeletons and electronic witches will blow his socks off.
The reason I say this is because, In Turkiye, there isn’t much decor for any holidays and my husband even thinks that having our home decorated all of December is a lot. He has grown really fond of it of course but when he explains this to his family and friends they always look very surprised.
Hopefully by this time next year, Mustafa and I will be wearing flannels, carving pumpkins, and eating apple pie because I’m going all out. I’ve actually never done any of those things (besides the flannels), but I’ve got to make up for the fall seasons I’ve missed. It’s funny how being away from home makes you take holidays and traditions much more seriously. My dear husband, however, doesn’t know that and he will just have to come along for the ride. xoxo
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and stay tuned for our journey westward!
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