It’s okay to be basic.

The paradox of living in a society that encourages you to be yourself is that, that means being unique, standing out from the crowd. People admire people who want to be themselves as long as that self is different from the “norm.” Social media has become a rat race of people who are seemingly competing to be the most interesting, the most different they can possibly be. The irony is that in the pursuit of being different, we are copying everyone else and showing how similar we are.

We love uniqueness. Is there a chance, however, that in following our desire to be unique, we may lose our sense of who we truly are? The fear of being labeled as basic perpetuates decisions, no one wants to be labeled as a cookie cutter and “breaking the rules” or “I’ve never been one to follow the rules” smacks me in the face every time I open Instagram. People will fly all the way across the world and avoid touristic landmarks like the plague because they are afraid of being “regular tourists.” It is as if being unique and a “rule breaker” makes you superior in some way. It doesn’t. Just be you, not someone you think others will admire.

This is not to bash stepping out of the “norms,” whatever that may be these days because honestly it feels more common to step out of them than to stay in, it is just to say that you do not have to break them to be yourself. If you want a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, go for it. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re doing what you like and you shouldn’t be condemned for it.

People have a fear of not being different enough, of being labeled by the same people who purport they are against labeling. I had left the US four years ago and I currently live in Turkiye where being different is not as prized or sought after. People really don’t care. 

When I returned to the US to visit, I followed my interests that I picked up living abroad. Wore clothes that I liked and took part in activities that I enjoyed. I was surprised, however, to be slapped with labels like a “white b*tch” or “basic rich girl” for enjoying white wine or taking a liking to pilates. For one, I’m not rich. I don’t even have a microwave. I just like wine. Secondly, I thought to myself, “So should I think about whether something is basic or not before I decide to like it?” 

Was I not allowed to like these things because they were not unique enough? I thought we were encouraging others to be themselves? Perhaps if I did a more interesting version of Pilates, like including a shamanic goat, that would be more acceptable.

There is an obsession with “breaking traditions” and going against what everyone says. It’s like an elitist competition to be the least traditional as you can possibly be and let everyone know that you didn’t do your wedding according to tradition. The irony is, people claim they love traditional cultures and celebrate them, yet when we remove tradition, we also remove culture. If you don't like a certain tradition, then fine. But don't go out of your way just to stand out.

Reels of “You shouldn’t do X,Y, & Z” while the person does X, Y, and Z, showing everyone and their dog that they are not a “rule” follower make my eyes roll back into my skull. If you are a free spirit, you don’t have to tell everyone for them to know. In the same way that you don’t have to tell people you are funny if you’re funny. They will know. 

It’s okay to like the usual. It’s okay to be an everyday person. It’s okay to live a cookie-cutter life. If someone decides to label you for wanting the norm, hit them with, “Oh, aren’t you happy that I’m following my truth and doing what feels right to me?”

It’s okay to be basic. Just do what you enjoy. Follow your values. Read the books that you like, listen to music that sets your heart on fire, and just live your life. Don’t worry about standing out from the crowd or being the most interesting person in the room.

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