At the moment I am sitting in my office, a tiny bedroom meant for children I don’t have. I just finished an English lesson with a younger student of mine from Korea. People often ask me if teaching is difficult given the language barrier, but my answer is always the same. The hardest students to teach are the ones who don’t want to learn. This particular student knows a handful of vocabulary but his sweet smile always warms my heart and makes the more difficult classes worth it. 

Trying to keep this feeling of warmth as long as possible, I brewed myself a cup of coffee and grabbed one of the strawberry scones I baked the night before. I’ve recently started including coffee/tea time with a treat in my day and as I ate, I tried to savor every bit of flavor and consume with intention. It got me thinking about all of the small things that seem to bring me happiness these days and most of them involve slowing down. They involve focusing on the task without distraction, simply savoring whatever activity I find myself doing.

I know I said that I would write about Turkish weddings this week, but I need to learn to stop assuming what my pen (or my keyboard) will be drawn to write. My student and my strawberry scone have planted a seed of inspiration that I think deserves cultivation before it’s gone. Has that ever happened to you? You have ideas, but you’re not yet inspired until some tiny moment lights a spark and you have to get the idea out immediately?

What is my idea you ask? It involves slow living and activities/behaviors that can evoke a sense of pause, of savoring. After living in a city of 20 million people for the last 3 years, I can say that I've mastered slow living in the big city. It’s doing things that bring us back, back from frenetic scampering from one entertainment outlet to the next. I find that we are so afraid of being bored these days, so easily bored by normal activity because it doesn’t offer us the intense dose of dopamine we have become addicted to.

From my personal experience, I’ve noticed that being catapulted through the day by hits of dopamine and excitement causes me to feel similar to the way I feel after having a can of Redbull. Jittery, nervous, anxiety-inducing highs whose crashes are inevitable. Once I feel the crash creeping in, I grab for more. At this point I find myself unable to sit still, walking back and forth from my living room to my kitchen searching for the next item of entertainment. In these moments, I find myself asking the question “Okay, what now? What now?”

On the contrary, slow living activities and behaviors have allowed me to notice an obvious difference in my heart rate and breathing. My heart beats at a slow, peaceful pace and my breaths are long and slow. In this state, I am okay with just looking out the window, doing daily tasks in silence, and am comfortable in my state of calm. I’m not grasping for more and, when I find myself in the next activity, that activity feels more intentional and aware. Slow living behaviors cause a sort of ripple effect that carries a calm, aware state into the next task.

A good example of this is if I sit down to drink some tea by the window before I write in my blog, I am more focused and calm in my writing. On the contrary, if I spend time watching rapid-fire Instagram reels or checking comments on my content before writing, I find myself jumping from tab to tab because my mind wants everything at once.

So, what are slow-living activities and behaviors? Most people, as I did in the past, equate slow living with the countryside and might think it impossible to incorporate into city life. I think that slow living can be described as a lifestyle that focuses on going back to the basics and doing tasks with purpose rather than getting them done as quickly as possible. This, I have learned, applies to all tasks in any environment. I used to think that I could only accomplish this lifestyle once I had a home of my own with a quiet garden and lots of nature to walk around in. Luckily, you don’t need to live off the land and hatch your own chicks to slow down a bit. 

What I’ve learned is that slow living is intentional living and that need not be limited to a country lifestyle because anything can be done with intention. (Intention doesn’t mean slow motion.) On top of that, going back to the basics can be a single task you incorporate into your day or week and need not include everything in your life. 

Personally, I find purposeful action more difficult to do with tasks that require my full attention because I often get sucked into them. This happens a lot with my writing. I get so into it that, once I come around, I wonder if I’ve even been breathing. During tasks like these, I focus on inducing a ripple effect from a previous task and remaining aware of my breath to maintain awareness of the present moment. 

Get on with it, I know, I know. What I would like to share with you are my top 5 ways to live slowly In the big city. These are all simple, cost-effective, and have had the largest impact on my daily life. Bonus, they can be incorporated no matter your environment.

1. Tea or Coffee Time With A Treat

We are all familiar with tea time and I always thought of the British when I thought of having tea with biscuits. It always sounded like such a simple thing and I thought of it as a bit posh, a bit high society for the likes of me. Of course I am no stranger to having an afternoon coffee, but it wasn’t until I started getting into baking that I decided to pair it with something yummy. If you discovered this long ago and you know how big of a difference it makes, forgive me. If you haven’t, let me tell you about it. 

How did adding a treat, other than the fact that it’s a treat, change my afternoon coffee so much? It was the intention set in place to enjoy what was in front of me that made such a big difference. As soon as I took my first bite of banana bread with my coffee, I immediately understood why tea time was a thing in Britain, why coffee and cookies was a thing in Germany, and why hot chocolate with a treat was a thing in Denmark. This tiny addition brought me so much joy, so much comfort, and turned into an unexpected highlight of my day. It brought me a warmth, softness, and a joy that completely changed the tone of my afternoon.

It must be done with intention, however. Keep in mind that I had had cookies with tea before because it is a staple in Turkish homes when guests arrive. I had always drunk it out of politeness rather than absorbing the moment and enjoying what I was consuming. Intention is key. Plate your treat with intention. Make your drink with intention. Intentionally create an appealing moment for yourself.

1. Sit by an open window

This one is for those who don’t have easy access to nature and doesn’t require setting extra aside extra time in your day; it’s a simple addition to any activity. It might sound silly, but allow me to explain. I don’t think I need to lay out the benefits of sunlight for you or the effect that nature has on the psyche, these are common knowledge. If you are like me, you might live in a loud, noisy city without easy access to nature. As for myself, I often felt quite suffocated by the lack of space and fresh air, feeling that I had no alternatives. What I’ve learned is that creating the slightest sensation of nature can go a long way. 

One morning, after 3 years of living in this house, I decided to open the window by my usual spot on the couch. The mornings are usually quiet here in Istanbul, so I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. It was as simple as a touch of the breeze wafting over my legs and the subtle warmth from the scattered sunlight on the floor that made me feel like I was truly sitting outside. It is such a simple step that offers an imitation strong enough to trick me into thinking that I am indeed in nature and brings the sense of peace that comes along with it. 

1. Reading

As of date, there is not a single thing I have come across that slows me down quite like reading. Many feel like they don’t have enough hours in the day to sit down and read for a few hours. That’s the best part. Reading is cost-effective that can be done virtually anywhere and needn’t take up hours of your day.

In the past I had the habit of only reading informational books, something I could learn from and apply to my life. It wasn’t until this year that I began reading novels and I found that I struggled reading for more than a few pages at a time. You know what? There’s nothing wrong with that and a few pages is all you need.

There are times when I want to read before bed, but find myself too tired. So, I tell myself just to read two pages to get the calming effect reading gives me. It works every time. The trick is to find a novel that brings you into the story, making time stop for a few moments so you can catch your breath. 

1. Tech-free hobbies

Everyone can relate to picking up their phone to watch videos for 5 minutes only to realize that 3 hours have passed. Much of what we do these days are based around tech and I felt like my days were slipping away right underneath my nose. I also found myself unable to get into a state of flow from being bombarded with notifications and my habit of checking the time.

I yearned to disconnect, to do something without constantly being distracted by and updated about every little thing going on. This led me to search for a few hobbies that would allow me to lose track of time and did not require me to be connected to any device.

A few hobbies I have taken up are painting, baking, and reading which all allow me to disconnect and focus on my task at hand. It’s amazing how slowly time moves when we immerse ourselves in simple life activities that don’t overstimulate us. When I bake, I even go the extra step of writing the recipe down so that I do not have to check my phone for instructions and risk the chance of seeing something that distracts me.

Other hobbies could include puzzle building, drawing, cooking, making crafts, gardening, going for walks, playing an instrument, or making jewelry.

1. Make something from scratch

I know what you’re thinking, “Some of us are busy, Chara” or “Not everyone can cook, Chara.” I hear you and I agree that making food from scratch can take a lot of time and effort. However, I have to argue that it really depends on what you decide to make that determines the time and skill it will take. Making things from scratch is incredibly heart warming and gives you a sense of stability, of timelessness, and satisfaction that is worth every second of effort. There is nothing like eating something you made with your own hands and it is not something you need to do every day. 

Personally, I love making desserts and bread from scratch. I make desserts once a week and fresh bread every other week at most. I cannot describe how homey this has made my home feel and the character it seems to bring to my kitchen. If you do not have time or skill, you can easily make things like homemade jam or homemade cream cheese. Both of these are extremely cost-effective, take less than 25 minutes of active effort, and bring just as much satisfaction as more complex recipes offer. There are tons of recipes on YouTube but both of them require a bit of simmering and a bit of cooling - that’s it and the rewards are great. 

Developing a country-living lifestyle needn’t be limited to those who live in the country. What we can learn from today’s article is that you can manipulate your environment to cater to your wants and dreams instead of waiting until you have a perfect life. Oftentimes, these are small changes that you don’t even need to do every day. They are tiny additions that do not have to cost you any money or interfere significantly with your schedule. You don’t have to have everything to start enjoying the little bits now.

Overall, these are my five slow-living activities that have helped me achieve a reasonably similar lifestyle to what I want within the limits of my current situation. As you can see, the common denominator is intention and that is, in my opinion, what slow living is all about. 

If you enjoyed this article and think someone will find it useful, please leave a comment & share. As always, thank you for visiting my blog.