Self-help books get a lot of criticism and are often ridiculed for their repetitiveness in order to bulk it up. The complaint is often that the entire book could have been summarized into a few pages but it was dragged out endlessly and obsoletely. I, for one, am a huge fan of self-help books and psychology in general because, even if the book isn’t fantastic or pleasant to read, I’ve found that there’s always something to take away from it, some tiny insight applicable to other areas of life. That being said, I’ve read my fair share of “eye-roll-worthy” advice and regurgitated information in a different package - “Just let go and think things into existence.” All criticisms aside, I do think that the self-help genre does have some true gems that can and will transform your life in different aspects. Here’s a list, in no particular order, of the five self-help books I read in 2023 that are actually worth your time and, personally, had the biggest impact on my behavior, thinking, perspectives, and emotions.
This book by James Clear has made its way to the top of the Amazon best-sellers for a reason and deserves its rightful place there. “Repetitive” and “vague” are not the words to describe this particular book. It is so direct, so to the point, and so captivating that I was tempted to read the whole thing in a single go. Atomic Habits teaches you how to form habits, what habits are, and how they make up our identity with simple tools and easy-to-implement tactics that anyone can use. What I love about this book is that it is not just theory. The contents are overflowing with words of wisdom, much of it very common sense that most of us have never thought about. Basically, it says that if you improve by 1% every day, you will be 365% better at whatever you did in a single year. Again, it's common math but it had never been laid out to me like that on a platter and so it had never occurred to my feeble mind. I have used and still use the wisdom that this book has taught me to become the person I want to be by forming the habits that make said person. It explains that your current habits are a reflection of your current identity and, every time you repeat those habits, it confirms your identity all over again. Thus, we need to create the identity we want first and implement the habits of who we want to be. Of course, he explains this much better than I can and gives you a step-by-step of how to do it. You will not waste a second of your time reading this, there’s no fluff, only useful stuff and it’s a true investment towards a better version of yourself.
Find it on Amazon: Atomic Habits by James Clear
I bought this book in a London airport once because I felt that I knew nothing about the business world, it intimidated me and I was afraid of being unable to understand it. But, if you know me, you know that I hate not knowing things. So, I took the step and paid airport prices for this bad boy simply because it spoke to me. It then sat on my bookshelf for almost six months because I was too afraid to open it, terrified of its mystical contents and my incomprehension of it. Alas, one day I mustered up the courage to open it and I found it highly readable.
The book starts off with the story of how the author learned about money management and, it was longer than I had expected, I was eager to get to the point where it told me how to become a millionaire. However, the story is important to the advice he gives later because he explains the thinking of a person who works 9-5 versus a person who makes their money work for them. I feel that Rich Dad Poor Dad is an excellent introduction into the investment world and exposed all of my bad spending habits as well as my flawed thinking in terms of making money. One thing that stuck with me was when the author talked about how people generally want to work for rich people, thinking that they will get rich that way. They want to be employees and ask for jobs instead of asking the person how they got rich in the first place, which wasn’t by working a 9-5 for twenty years. I realized that I had a similar thinking pattern and often thought that working for a rich person would benefit me. However, rich people don’t get rich by overpaying their employees or giving out free money. They get rich by having employees who know things work for them and tell them what they need to know. The rich dad in the book told the young author that the people working for him were all smarter than he was and his goal was to learn from his employees rather than knowing everything himself. It's an interesting perspective and it has truly changed how I view the typical work career. If you have an interest in business or investment and you feel intimidated by the topic, I highly recommend this book as a first step.
Find it on Amazon: Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T Kiyosaki
A less popular book than the previous two, but severely underrated in my opinion. An absolute plethora of psychological knowledge, this book, written by Jonathan Haidt, reveals the truths and faults in teachings from ancient religions from a scientific perspective. It includes bits from Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and others, bringing their ideologies into the open, showing what scientific bases they hold, and how to use these truths to bring ourselves happiness. My version of this book has so many tabs, scribbling, notes, highlights, and sticky notes jutting out of it, you’d think I was studying it for a thesis. It not only dissects which teachings truly brings happiness but it also delves into topics such as morality, self-righteousness, and autonomy. It revealed to me what lies behind many differences I have seen across Turkish and American culture, why morals are different among people and how these morals, these ideals are used to “demonize” our counterparts. A true gem and anyone who has any interest in the reality of religious teachings would find this book an incredible insight into many of the questions we have about the world.
Find it on Amazon: The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt
Don’t let the age of this book speak for its accuracy or relevance in today’s world. Despite being published in the 90’s, I believe it’s teachings are more applicable now than ever as we enter into the era of automated technology. Daniel Goleman opens with this exact idea in his prediction of emotional intelligence being the telling factor in whether someone keeps their job or not when AI takes over. He supports this with the astounding improvement of recovery rates in hospital patients who are attended to by emotionally intelligent staff and explains that emotional intelligence is the one thing that could never be replicated by a robot. The beginning of this book is quite dense and the author admittedly states that those who do not have an interest in brain structure can skip to the next section as it really gets into the nitty gritty of nerves and signals. All of that good stuff. If you are interested in brain structure, it is absolutely fascinating but just be prepared for the fact that the first section is not what you would call a light read. I bought this book for the purpose of reading it in the mornings and, let me tell you, that was a lot to take in over coffee. Even if you skip the first part, it is not very long and the rest of the book is like a window into your soul. It explains everything from anger to rage, from depression to anxiety and how to deal with these things using tactics that are scientifically proven to help you get through said emotions.
Everything I just mentioned is only the tip of the iceberg as the author delves into why pure rationality isn’t intelligence, and that emotional intelligence is crucial to daily life as they are the basis of every decision we make. It explains that, without emotions, we would be unable to make a single decision because we would not know what we liked or disliked. We would not be able to keep jobs or have motivation to do a single thing because nothing would matter. The original reason I purchased this book was to help me overcome intense emotion and, to my surprise, the author laid out, in an entire section, exactly what I was experiencing and even named it “emotional flooding.” I cannot express how much this book has helped me and I plan to read it over and over again so I can get every drop of precious knowledge I possibly can. This is one of those books that I think everyone should read at some point in their lives and is very impactful.
Find it on Amazon: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Last but certainly not least is my absolute favorite self-help book of all time. I know I’ve been raving about the others, but this one is the cherry on the cake and I think it makes an excellent follow-up after reading Emotional Intelligence because it is exactly that. It is pure emotional brilliance put to use to get what you want out of negotiations. The author is an FBI hostage negotiator and discusses the tools he has used to talk down kidnappers, terrorists, bank robbers, you name it. He opens with a story about going to Harvard to take a course on negotiating after spending years on the FBI negotiations team. He explains that he was obviously the dumbest guy in the room and every other student wore their intelligence on their sleeves, shockingly, however, he was able to out-negotiate them each and every time. What makes this book absolute gold is that there is no theory, unlike what the author explains is taught at Harvard, only cold hard facts that have been used out in the real world in real life or death situations. You don’t have to be a genius to negotiate and the author admits that, if cops can use it, you can too. Chris Voss explains that humans are not rational, that humans are completely irrational and that we act out of emotions, thus negotiating through rationality will not work. We have to get through to the emotions as those are what drive behavior. I never in my life thought of a terrorist, a CEO, or a Harvard graduate as emotional. I always thought they would be logical beings considering their positions. However, the author slowly reveals how this is not the case and gives real examples of real hostage negotiations he had on the field using these techniques. The best part is, whether it’s your five-year-old or a terrorist, the tactics used to get them to do what you want are exactly the same. I, for one, have always been the type who used rationality, smarts, and a voice of authority which has been delicately explained to me by this as “not a good tactic.” If you are going to read a book, make it this one. Just about every other sentence in mine is underlined and it has literally flipped a switch in my head about how I communicate with other people. Truly life-changing.
Find it on Amazon: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz
Key takeaways
Whether these books speak to you like they spoke to me is subjective, however I do not have a single doubt that you won’t take something valuable away from reading any of these. I would like to point out that the links below are affiliate links and I earn a small commission that helps me continue making content. If you do decide to read them or have read them before, let us know what you thought and which part impacted you the most! Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter so you know when we post!
This list of five self-help books from 2023 is a great resource for anyone looking to invest in personal growth. Book Marketing Services Each recommendation seems thoughtfully chosen, offering practical insights and inspiration for real-life improvement.