About Me

Welcome to my little corner of the world. My name is Chara and I'm a South African American living in Istanbul Turkey with my lovely husband, Mustafa. I have a passion for travel, creativity, learning, and all things cozy. I wake up each day with a new idea in my head that I want to bring to life through writing, crocheting, painting, or baking. Crocheting came to me after moving to Turkey when I was struggling to adapt. My favorite pastime involves a glass of white wine, a true crime story, and a good crochet project to keep me busy well into the night.

This blog gives a peek into our lives via my blog series "Istanbul Diaries." I hope you enjoy following along while I crochet my way through life in Turkey, travel, intercultural marriage, and our journey back to America. Much love xx

Istanbul Diaries: Turkish Henna Night (Kina Gecesi)

With the end of Ramadan and the first major holiday following it, wedding season is upon us. This weekend, we have the pleasure of attending a Turkish “Henna Night,” which is the Turkish equivalent of a bridesmaids party and is usually held a couple of nights before the wedding. Soon we will gather together at a local wedding venue where many children, women, and the bride-to-be will be wearing red. The bride will be dressed in a red bindalli with a red veil covering her face, resembling a Sultan. She will be seated in a chair in the center of the room and I, along with the other women, will be holding a lit candle as we approach her.

When I first heard of this ceremony, all I knew was that there was henna and a sultan-like dress. Obviously, I was convinced that I needed a henna night, too. The main reason was because I wanted to wear that gorgeous dress and be adorned with gold and henna. Who wouldn’t want that? Many of my husbands’ family members also encouraged me to have my own henna night. What I later learned was that, in Turkish culture, Henna symbolizes sacrifice and devotion. Animals, soldiers, and new brides are marked with henna for this reason. I’m aware of how extreme this sounds, but bear with me and keep in mind that symbols (and old meanings) are what you make of them.

History of Turkish Henna Night

Turkish Henna Night is an ancient tradition steeped in folklore and was a huge staple in the Ottoman Empire. Some even believe that the tradition goes all the way back to the prophet Mohammed when he put henna on his soldiers during the time of religious wars to symbolize devotion to God. Later, it turned into a bridal ceremony in which the henna symbolized the bride leaving her identity as a daughter in her mother’s house and becoming a wife. In the old days, when a woman married, she left her home and became a full member of her husband's family hence the identity transformation. She moved to his village and left her old role behind in complete love and devotion. These days, some regions also adorn the groom’s pinky finger with henna during the ceremony.

As you can imagine, this ritual is very intimate and has a very powerful symbolic meaning. Some compare it to rites of passage performed in some cultures for boys to become men, but this is debated.

Nowadays, many of the rituals remain the same, but the meaning has changed. Much like the white wedding dress used to symbolize purity, now we wear white dresses without considering the old meaning important. On top of that, most people do not know the meaning behind many of the rituals and practice them simply because. Most of what I have learned about Turkish Henna night was from my own research because many people I asked gave very vague answers.

When is it held?

The Turkish Henna Night is held before the wedding mainly for the bride and the wedding itself is mainly for the groom. Traditionally, men did not really attend the henna night and the groom only participated for the Henna portion along with a dance. Nowadays, it often serves as a separate wedding event for the bride's side of the family, which is the case for the one we will be attending this weekend. The bride’s husband is from a different city, so the Henna night will be held in Istanbul for the bride's relatives and the wedding will be held in the groom's city.

As it turns out, the event was not a Turkish Henna Night like my dear husband told me. It was an engagement party in the form of a wedding mainly for the bride. (This is also common). Nevertheless, since we’ve gotten this far, I’ll just tell you about my Turkish Henna night and how it went for me. Stay tuned next week for an article about Turkish weddings.

PS You’ll have to bear with me on the pictures. Most people have androids so the pictures are not the best quality.

The preparation

Before the Henna night, women prepare little fabric cloths with fake gold coins sewn around them so they make a slight rattling noise. My sister and law and I went out to get the other necessary items such as mini red veils for the other women, tealight candles, a silver tray, henna, a red veil, and lace-like gloves to put over the henna so it can dry. She has always been a tremendous help to me and has never lost patience, even before I spoke Turkish. She was also the one to help me pick out my wedding dress and make sure the price was appropriate. Luckily, the place I rented my wedding dress from included the Bindalli in the price so I didn’t have to go to a second dress shop and that was out of the way.

Location

Henna nights can be held at the bride’s home if they have enough space or if they have a garden area. Most people in the city do not have enough space and so they typically rent a place which can be as simple as a room or as elaborate as a full-on wedding venue. In our case, my father in law knew a guy who had a little tea shop, so they cleared it out for us for a few hours.

As I’ve mentioned, the henna night is usually for the bride’s side of the family and the women. In my case, only my dad, his wife, and my sister were able to attend my wedding so the women from my husband’s side made up for it.

Process

The process is quite simple and only lasts a few hours so that the bride has time to rest before the wedding. We got there first so I could change into my Bindalli. We greeted everyone as they arrived and took photos together. Once everyone got there, the music started and my husband's sister led the way to start the dancing.

Folklore Dances

The main dance done at weddings is a folk dance called the Halay. Every Turkish person alive knows this dance and it is a staple at all weddings and henna nights. There are many variations to the halay but the main idea is the same. Everyone holds hands, or pinkies depending on which version it is, and dances in a circle with one person as the leader. The leader usually holds the cloth I was talking about earlier. Turkish dances focus mainly on the shoulders rather than the hips so you basically take steps according to the leader and bounce your shoulders. It is a synchronized dance and the most common version involves taking four steps forward and slightly to the right followed by four steps backwards creating an expanding and shrinking circle. While you take these steps, your pinkies are interlocked with the person next to you and you move your arms together in a circle/swinging motion. Don’t forget the shoulder bouncing.

Style of Dance

Another thing I find particularly interesting is that during Turkish dances, women tend to shake their shoulders rather than their hips. In fact, there is not a lot of hip movement at all and when women dance together, they shake their chests more than anything even when dancing alone. Everyone holds their arms up, snaps their fingers while rolling their wrists and steps side to side. Another common thing is for people to continue in this motion while they approach one another. When they reach the other person, it looks like a hug while holding their arms extended and they bump their shoulders against the other’s opposite shoulder. When Turkish women dance, the goal is not to be sexy - they aim for synchrony and rhythm. It is more of a uniform thing that people do together, similar to a game that is being played so you will not see anyone getting low or dropping it to the floor.

Side Note: Contrary to what many think, belly dancing is not a Turkish tradition. While it is present in Turkey today, it’s mostly sought out by tourists and Turkish people themselves refer to it as “oriental dance.” From what I’ve read, the Sultans used to like having belly dancers in the harems but it comes from Egypt.

This type of dancing goes on for hours and people really get into it. The crazy thing is this is all done without a single drop of alcohol. They dance endlessly, walking in and out of a circle until they nearly collapse.

My Henna Night

At my Henna night, we danced for probably around 45 minutes or so before we began the henna process. A chair was brought to the center of the room for me to sit and my head was covered with a red veil. Since my husband was also there, he was seated next to me and given a green scarf to put over his shoulders. (Both green and red are significant colors).

Then, all of the lights were turned off and the women began walking around us with tealight candles, singing a traditional song in which a mother says goodbye to her daughter.